Willie the Wildcat - You have a human body and a giant feline head, I'm guessing it only takes one long swipe of that rough cat tongue of yours to clean your crotch off.

Raider Red - If he had a nickel for every mustache ride he's given he would have more than enough to buy that gay Mexican Zorro life partner of his a better costume.

OSU's Pistol Pete - You can only imagine the amount of times he has been caught peeping in bedroom windows around Stillwater with his pants around his ankles.

The Big XII conference appears to be a gathering place for several mascots that creep the shit out of people. However, certain universities seem to have missed the mark completely and have inadvertently given us some of the most disturbing things imaginable. In a perfect world, mascots are supposed to be energetic fuzzy characters that children can love and be entertained by at sporting events. The fact he's a giant perverted chameleon makes the Blitzkrieg style of abductions and penetrations the method of choice for Herbie. And do not allow yourself to be fooled, for not only is he a creeper, but as you can see in the photo below Herbie is a master of disguise able to blend in with his surroundings. WRNL strongly encourages its readers to take every precaution possible this weekend with Herbie Husker in town.

Our best guess is that he will be as determined as ever to find himself an unsuspecting sphincter.' Unfortunately we have not sacrificed a single virgin to him in over a month, and he appears to have misplaced his favorite Justin Bieber cassette tape.

We've been told that ISU's football stadium is outside of Herbie's court mandated 2000 foot radius from any schools, parks, or Chucky Cheese's. It's a relatively close game and he doesn't get out much. Like a vigilante Frankenstein with an unquenchable thirst for 8 year old heinie, Herbie is 'Runnin' wild'.ĭodsborne was quoted as saying, ' We're bringing Herbie with us this weekend despite it being against our better judgment. Nebraska Athletic Director and football baby Jesus 'Tom 'Antoine' Dodsborne' has a message for Ames, Iowa and for any Cyclone fans coming to town for this weekends game: ' You better watch your backside', because he could quite possibly rape 'Errbody' up in there.

Defcon levels